Dear Santa

Or:
In which I lose my sleep deprived mind , and start talking to a legendary children's icon


Dear Santa,


I want....


Someone else to write this blog for me, because I just keep staring at the pictures expecting words to come that never do...

Nevermind. I will figure it out.

I did want a tree, and I got that:





..but you know I could use being a little greedy for once - So I thought I would write you a long letter.

1st off, Sorry we haven't communicated since I was in elementary.
I just started handing my letters to my parents at some point.

Plus,I think I have been really extra good this year..
so you shall abide by all my demands,
er,um.
I mean, reward me by fulfilling a few wishes

Lets go ahead and get the outlandish stuff out of the way.
World peace- no can do ,huh? Moving on

I want a pony.
no.not really I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

How about, SNOW.
Honestly, seriously- it would be freaking awesome.Just for xmas day or something...

Imagine. It gets cold, and INSTEAD of freezing rain and sleet. fluffy snowflakes.
Also,Could you also make the temp slowly rise over the next week instead of snapping between freezing rain and icky humidity?k.thanks.
It isn't just for me.. Rory is wearing her snow gear


and getting excited by red fall leaves

Can you not see how that is cruelty?
Red leaves which bury houses in northern states in OCTOBER are an exciting rare find for us... in DEC.
..and it is still wet and cold.
evil.



__________________________________====

+++++
____________________________________

Alright.Mr.Claus
I understand, Snow in Florida is hard.
I will level with you , if you can name the movie that Rory was making a reference to in that vid.. then you don't HAVE to get me snow....

But, could you still make me mad wealthy?
I could really use a couple million.
If you can't do that, how about you just work your magic on that reoccuring dream I have had the last few nights about Aunt Marla being crazy wealthy and taking us all out to orlando for a weekend. Sounds fun.

Or, if you just gave me some extra creativity, and motivation, So I could figure away to meet that dream on my own.

Maybe I DON'T need wealth. Moving back to st.auggy would be nice.
How about that?


Could you give me perfect skin , and teeth too? I don't know if you do that sort of thing...

How about a Wii and Wii fit?

Could you make WIN7 compatible with my Webcam and memory card... and every.effing.thing.else????


I am reaching with this wishlist ,aren't I?



How about some more NEEDED items

Like new towels- I don't know if your elves have an in with the evil gnomes that seem to have made off with my towels, but I could settle with having the ones I had back.
At least , I think it was Gnomes - I swear I used to have a huge stash of towels
...mostly courtesy of when we lived on the beach and they seemed to appear at our house... maybe that is where the gnomes put them then. Is it a whole give take sort of thing?
You see, if you just let me move back to St.Auggy it would be a neat 2 birds one stone deal. ;)

I think those gnomes took off with all my plates and bowls as well.
I would LOVE some decent plastic dishes that are micro/dishwasher safe...
Yes, I know those don't exist, but you do have a whole magic toyshop thing,right?

While you are restocking my kitchen you ought to get me a new oven element( since ours decided to blind me and die the other day)
..or a new oven- which ever fits better in the sleigh.

You should restock my closet too-
I need jeans and humorous t-shirts this seems fitting:



I mean.. the shirt seems more feasible than a robot army,right?
Get Ri some clever ones to wear to work while you are at it.

How about just get stuff, like my closet, more organized..but then we are back on the whole moving thing to a better place thing again, aren't we ?

Maybe you could get what I obviously REALLY need.
rest.

A few full nights sleep. A decent schedule..
is this reaaally too outlandish, should it go back at the top of the list with world peace and wealth?

You know.. time in general would be nice. Perhaps just better time management.. How do the hours in the day both seem to eeeek slowly by, and disappear as far a progress.

Speaking of progress.. can Amy , (my preggy babysis ) please, please , have that baby- SOON.
Like. Well before the 25th.
How about tomorrow?
She doesn't seem to be enjoying the contractions. Also, could you make it happen on a day that Ri is off work?


Honestly,My bigger holiday concerns aren't about me.
If you could do anything right now
it would be give me a list of exactly who I should and shouldn't buy gifts for... what sort of thing they would like,
and maybe the money to afford it.

I am not talking about Rory,either. She is EASY... she did ask me to include some of her wishlist in this post:






... See what I mean? She is easy, anything with a littlest petshop (or those tiny new my little ponies) on the label ,and you are good to go.
I would love to be able to get her dance lessons or something neat like that.
But she will be thrilled with little pets and simple toys.
Ri has already started getting her some.

For me, could you get her some shoes that fit? I don't think they exist, you might have to make them ...

I was going to ask you to find a home for the little gray cat that hisses at me, while eating the food I give it..- but since he just joined forces with BaileySweets to put a huge rat on my doorstep today , I am starting to rethink that.

I hope you will be able to get me at least a little bit off of my list.
Ri says he has already got a great deal on " something wonderful he knows I will love"
(dammit Santa,now you've gotta help me come up with what to get him!)

Also, keep in mind I don't have a chimney.
cough *maybe I would need one if it snowed sometime.*cough.

So , Just look for the rat organs on the step..
and the wreath Rory and I made with some excess tree trimmings..


...yes, that is a snowflake ornament. and a snowflake treetopper, and snowflake wrapping paper..
get it,it's a theme.
Or irony
.. or not, I have no idea how to use that word anymore.
well.

I'll leave the light on for ya.

PEACE AND TOFU CHICkEN GREASE,
BABYHELLFIRE