Thursday, December 4, 2008

I thought the early bird got something, besides the blues?

Hello there, my fellow economic crisis friends.
At last I no longer feel guilt for not feeling "thankful" . I can return to my stressed pessimistic state and not veil it in the layer of guilt.

On the bright side... if you can find one- Thanksgiving ,and the following zombie sleep,did seem to help our schedule.
Rory and I(at least) are now EARLY risers. A bit too early, getting her to sleep till dawn- or stay up later than 5pm is the struggle.

We do get to enjoy the winter sunlight now-

Noobie loves her walks.

I was really trying to get a picture of the flower seed thingys blowing off the tree in the gusts of wind,so yeah of course the gust never came in time with my button.
It was hot that day- followed by humid and rainy... which brought on the cold.
nasty freezy cold nights and warm afternoons.

Monday- Ri's day off, - Rory and I woke up before Ri. I started rooting through closets for holiday decorations. I found our old teeny tree and gave it to Rory it is just the right size for her little petshop toys ,and it contented her until we could get set up to put the tree up.
Ri got up and took his mom to the store,since her car has been acting up.He took Rory , too.So I could finally get to that bit of cleaning enough to move the furniture to where we could get the tree up.He managed to keep Rory awake the whole time- she crashed soon after she came in(with arm fulls junk food they bought her).
Ri made totillas , and homemade bread- and drunkenly lamented how he wanted to just fill up the car and drive off to New Mexico ..if only it was that easy.
I fell asleep before even getting a burrito.
--but woke up to some before dawn, with the early bird child.

Tuesday we started setting up our little tree, which is sparse and sort of pathetic looking compared to last year. Our star doesn't light, and a bunch of the bulbs died in storage. :(
..its been hard.
Where I should be happy and festive I can't help but feel bummed ,this year won't be like last, or even remotly like the year before.This time last year I had a bit of toys already under the tree and wrapped... right now I don't even know if we will afford wrapping paper, much less gifts.
Rory is really happy though, and has been watching a collection of holiday movies. Rory went to bed really early.I followed.Feeling all gross and feverish I slept through her predawn waking- Ri said she was super sweet and cuddly though. We even all got in another nap in before Ri went to work...

Oh Yeah, the fever.
My period. hooray and boo all at the sametime. VERY Glad to not be preggo, but does it have to be soo horrible?? Can't I get a break from the severity of it?????

So, yeah I spent yesturday lazing around a crampy mess while Rory destroyed the house- there will be much catching up today.
Rory crashed out at 8 or so , and so did I. I woke after midnight to see Ri drunkenly trying to make pizza.Stayed up and watched some movies- Found out he was indulging because he had got bad news-
They cut back ANOTHER of his work days. I don't know how we will make it. I don't know what we will do. I am really hoping, praying, wishing for a break, a blessing,a windfall,... a job, a something.

Rory was up predawn again.She watched "hoodwinked"and begged to wear her redhood and go for a bikeride. I told her after my shower ,and sun up we would:

(they are fixing the AC or something accross the street.-lots of noise and commotion)

She was SOOO CUTE and riding so big, singing the song from the movie with her basket full of pets. Yes, I let my almost 4 yr old wear a costume when she wants.

Other than that bit of big girl-lil red fun,my day is off to a crappy start. With visions of No Xmas,and fears of how we will make our bills, dancing through my head I am having trouble keeping it composed. I keep melting into tears.Rory has consoled me with a teddybear and a blanky.I have to stop crying. ..but I am really scared. I even spent part of this blogging time sitting on the step out front smoking.
Things are already tight, too tight.Bills are already behind ,or teetering.

please send good thoughts,, or money lol.

Well, Ri went to work - I have some cleaning to do.
best wishes.

1 comment:

North Carolina Mom said...

Cutest Little Red Bike Riding Hood EVER!