blog fail #30007 Friday the 13

I remembered what I forgot...
I DID end up making some chili type stuff . I was looking for a recipe for it,
but basically having an anxiety attack over not finding the recipe I wanted- I never did find what I wanted and I was really uncertain if I could make what I wanted(using the ingredients I had). I made it anyway, and it turned out awesome!!I wanted to use some of the peppers we had in the fridge,canned beans, rice and tomatoes, an corn... the corn was soo sweet and the peppers had soo much flavor it turned out awesome.I was really afraid it wouldn't work the way I wanted,with what I had on hand.

I did go for a walk with Rory and Noobs when I finished my last blog-
It was wet,Rory was sleepy,and Noobie wanted to drag me on a chase after the neighbors crowing rooster- so we didn't stay out long.

__________________________________


""" The above has been saved in notepad because ----

--- we interrupt this blog to bring you wtf is really going down this second
OMG! My effing blog isn't working, right on top of fucking everything.

Compose mode isn't working at all ,and the jackasses at this site have set up a help system that is of no real help at all... and there is no way to contact them about it!!

I want to pull my hair out.
6pm the child is taking a nap-lord help me-
Ri worked again this morning and tomorrow morn too
and now this
I doubt it will even post but i wanted to try since the damn thing won't save either.
AS well as not being able to add pics or edit.
frick frick frick

Happy Friday the 13th I guess.
Dammit
I'm going to bed.

---Oh,

I lied. I searched around the blogger help section for awhile for info and got a a clue maybe I should try a different browser. On IE I am having a bit of luck so far. I would still lie to now wtf is going on with blogger and firefox clashing...

but oh well.

Anyway.

So On Ri's day off he made lots of food-Spicy cream corn stuff-

strogganoff type stuff,

and he got some pizza fixings from Josh.... SO now our fridge is FULL of food.

We watched some movies..

"Run fat boy run" was REALLY cute- way better than ri expected.

"super high me" - was so-so, not near as good as supersize me

"what would jesus buy" was way too long, could have been better...

I didn't even cook last night with all the left overs, and I probably won't again tonight at this rate, that's pretty unusual.

Rory had a tea party all day yesterday, she also played outside for a teeny bit. I was half asleep- I can't imagine how ri was working all day, I was dead tired, And I only woke up at 1 - I was half passed out on the couch all day while Rory played and watched tv... she keeps asking to watch "bender" driving me crazy-"please, watch some Disney cartoons like a normal kid instead of absorbing furturama quotes and making me feel like a bad mom."

Talked to Lissy again yesterday, she says she decided not to go to DC.
She said mom got her new-better job yay :) , and the radiation isn't as bad as the chemo.
I THINk JJ moved into a trailer that a friend gave them for 1,000 dollars.

Ri brought me home some cappuccino with extra espresso in hopes he could crash out, and I would stay up with Rory...plus cause we are out of milk and he didn't wanna go to wally world an hour away to get soy.

- He has to work all day today AND Saturday again. :(

I REALLY should be asleep now....but instead, Rory woke up- and is again asking me for a bunch of shit she doesn't need and I don't have...
I think I will run away,gonna go live in a mattress store and pretend to be a dummy model on the serta, and leave Rory here lie she wants to go through the fridge and drink all the honey while I am not looking.( I hope no one thinks I am serious on that)

Go to bed "you idiot! "

Ello , Ello!
k
1st before ANYTHING else you NEED to see this pic I found on Google Maps Street View:

See the guy in white walking out - That'd be Ri at work. LOL! Pretty sure the guy sitting on the car is Kramer ,too.
(Ri says he thinks that is Brian walking out-- can't really tell pretty sure they blurred out whoevers face)

-- Now, Scamper off and stalk your friends and neighbors! LOL .
Well, A LOT of places aren't on there. It doesn't go into Putnam County at all.. There are a few random photos of our area,like a gator floating in the St.Johns.

Yep- It is 5am and I am playing with google.
We all took a nap today at 8pm .. Ri is still sleeping.I wonder if her will sleep all day tomorrow, too?- I know he needs it.He worked this-yesturdays now- morning too..when he came home Rory told him he is to "STAY HOME the rest of the night ,and tomorrow too! " Good thing he is off work.
I have been in clean mode -still..
with the exception of hanging clothes(I'll tackle that pile soon,promise)
It's all I do.. well, that and play online.

I HAVEN'T been getting much exercise, I feel really gross and out of shape.I am waiting for day break - hope it stays dry, and I will walk the dog.

Rory has been super helpful, imaginative ,and sweet
but also VERY demanding and sassy mouthed. We are working on reminding her NOT to be rude calling people "idiot".

Well, I'm going to go get dressed.
I'm forgetting something -I know it.. :(

Ctrl V is for krazy.

You can sleep when you're dead.

Today, I slept from noon to 4pm. That is such and odd time to sleep.
I'd blame Rory...but it isn't actually her fault.
I am the one that has been not tired..
and I am half wondering if I have unintentionally kept her awake. :(
She DID take a nap at midnight last night..
I slept yesterday 6am- noon.
I feel soo yuck,and look it too.I get this one wrinkle ,between my eyebrows ,when I am not sleeping right.

Forgive me grammatical errors this Blog post(more than normal)
I have to press ctrl V to get a "k"(..more on that later).
Also- my awkward sleep cycle is giving me trouble with the time line of the last few days,so I apologize in advance.

Sooo...
When I left off with "you" I was a raging sick ,menstrual mess. My cramps were so bad I hadn't ate all day..and everything I'd eaten the day before had came right back out.
Well,
Ri came home that night with soda, and liquor.(after making dinner for himself and Rory) .
After a little bit my cramps felt MUCH better
..but, not eating all day(or much the day before),
and being so weak two drinks did me in MUCH faster than I anticipated.I got drunk, bad ,and quick
I had some time to chat with Ri, send off some funny letters, avoid other-serious type ones.
before vomiting and curling up on the couch.(Rory was asleep long before any of that) .

..never did get back to some people.

Rory has been the super cutest lately.She says, and does, the FUNNIEST things, and seems to be finding more, and more, interesting ways to entertain herself.
If only her junk food addiction would end.She wakes up every morning and asks for candy, chips,cake ,or soda(which is why we can't keep any of that in the house regularly.) I have to talk her into breakfast,She happily settles for healthy food, still tries every morning though.

Ri was 'sposed to be off yesterday, he had requested it off "planned" to go to Citizen Cope concert in Orlando..
Didn't plan anything.Didn't even tell me of this "plan" until Thursday,highly doubtful I could have made arrangements in that time..
Plus, the 60$ we don't have ,
the long ass time Rory would have to be with a sitter.
I do kind of regret not planning ahead ,and going..but I don't think it would have been the best thing either ,really.


Rory woke up with a stomach ache NEEDING to potty- and not much color in her cheeks.She seemed to feel better later though, and was back to her goofy self. Very goofy she was a CRAZY kid yesterday.
She did tell me last night she needed medicine...but, she followed it with a fake cough and said she wanted" yummy pink medicine" , I offered to take her to the doctor to get a shot,but she didn't seem eager to do that.

She was mad for a bit that afternoon because she said, she wanted "a birthday party- with cake,balloons,presents, games,a big banner that says "happy birthday Aurora"," and for me to "download" Peter Pan and Tinkerbell to her house for her party.

... today she added it should be a mermaid party,and was really disappointed it didn't happen. She has been naming all her toys Ariel ,and loves mermaids...but, she doesn't really like to watch the movie. She watched it once and said it is too scary.Instead She's really been digging the Toy Story movies.

(don't ask how I got her into "not pink" it didn't last long,and I think it only worked because Tinkerbell was on the shirt and i told her she had to wear it to pick the last of the mandarins)


Ah, The computer...
So yesterday morn/afternoon I set the laptop down and stood up- forgetting I was holding Rorys water -which splashed everywhere!!
Including a teeny bit on the laptop which I quickly flipped over,wiped off, and turned off.
I checked it half an hour or so later... the mousepad didn't work :(
So ,I turned it off again- Vacuumed it,tried to get it apart -failed.(on of the screws was stripped) and set it back on its side.The rest of the day.
When I finally turned it back on all seemed awesome! yay..
Until I tried to type something involving a "k' ..and got NOTHING!! GRRR.
So Now, When I want a "k" I am C & Ping it(or pressing alt 107 -thanks Crabbie ).
Ugh. RI was pretty pissed when I called him. Dammit, I was pissed too,and felt terrible. I didn't do it on purpose and its damn ridiculous that A POSSIBLE drop of water would destroy our entire laptop :(. Ugh, I dunno what to do.
I am thinking about seeing If i can find a usb connecting laptop..this missing letter is driving me crazy.

Talked to mom a bit.She is tired and she says radiation is sucky- terrible to have to lay through for soo long to get done,and leaves her sore. :(
The bike poker run in her honor is today.. I had meant to get some fliers to give out to some of Ri's fam/friends I thought might be interested but I didn't realize it was soo close. June snuck up on me.(.as every month seems to the past few yrs.)
Libbys EXBF ( The ewwww one , lissy I don't care what you say eww- I think I prefer stalkerboi) got her a plane ticket to Wash D.C -- and she is gonna stay , and then go back to Indy with Jenn and Joy..ummm, sounds really weird to me, but ..ok.
Well, She wants us to take her to the airport - the Tuesday after my bday.
Our zoo membership IS almost up(ends in July people,so if ya wanna go on a zoo trip with us speak now!)..but I dunno if Ri wants to do it.maybe..


So - anyway.
last night I was stressy, and panicky feeling over nothing.Big things going on,and whiny kid that SHOULD have bothered me weren't the triggers-
Instead, not knowing what I wanted to make for dinner panicked me!! Dinner- ugh. I got so stressed over not now what I felt like making -and other minor irritations , like my water not being cold, or my cushion bothering me- that I was having trouble breathing from my throat tightening. wtf? I'm gonna end up loosing my voice over it.

Rory crashed out last night at 'round 11. -- she actually slept for awhile,after Ri came home ,and I made dinner, and all. I ended up making mashed potatoes and succotash,it wasn't what I wanted though.
Sooo She of course woke up at like 2 am...
When the sun came up I decided since sleep seemed soo far away I should walk the dog before it got out outside.After I fought Rory into clothes-the battle of the pink
We had a nice early morning walk.



there were squirrels EVERYWHERE!! tons I don't now if I have ever seen so many in one day, Those and woodpeckers, but I didn't catch any of them on camera.

Rory got one of every flower she could find(except the planted ones).
..when we got home she gave them all to Ri - I tried to stop her,it was soo sweet though.


I know.. her strollers looking ROUGH .We only use it for occasional lazy walks- or my RUNS.Its durability is more important than its appearance for that.




When we got home I made Rory PB triangles,
and started cleaning the house. Vacuumed and did he dishes and kitchen AGAIN- I think I clean the kitchen-dishes and stove counters- 8 times a day. :(
Rory played outside while I cleaned the counters.

I still want to mop tonight.
We hung out- Rory watched Robin Hood and really enjoyed it.
Went to bed at noon.
Well.
I need to start " dinner" and mop...and this is way longer than I expected.

And possibly the complications

So, you thought grumpy was bad try sicky and negative.
Nah, things really hadn't been so bad - yesterday kind of sucked

Been back in my cave- between the heat and the rain (and there isn't anything in between) we've done nothing really, but hide out in here.
Downloaded LOADS of movies.
Rory woke up the other day and in her half sleep told Ri ,she dreamt about a movie she saw before, Peter Pan with grown up Wendy. So he looked up the Peter Pan sequel "Return to Neverland"- we HAD rented it from Netflix last year and it is her favorite movie right now.



She loves Peter Pan, in this one Tink is a little less mean( but still devious) , the girl is braver and funner than stiff old wendy, and the lost boys are pretty funny.
Again though, Disney Movies have her saying things like "whatever" and
"old codfish" & " pompous old windbag" in her games...the "whatever" thing(complete with eyeroll) that one really bugs Ri, he has started tickling her every time she says it. On the bright side she has been making me read more.. she likes to read the book to a disney movie 1st (and some of those are pretty long) and then watch the movie.She knows a few small words now, and quite a few letters(she has trouble remembering some).

She is soo suddenly such a GIRL- she ONLY wants to wear pink. ALL THE TIME.
I SERIOUSLY have to force her into anything NOT pink.
As I type this she is watching Little mermaid and making her MyLittlePonies drive the pink barbie jeep on the table.(least she isn't into barbies).

She really cracked Ri up the other night.We were up watching Futurama,and he handed her a apple pie bite- He was like " isn't that good?'
She made a face and said "Tastes like molten boron" he DIED laughing, he keeps trying to tell people but he knows they won't get the joke.

Tuesday, would have been Ri's day off we were going to mow the yard...the grass is tall. The weather was NASTY though, and Ri ended up working till 3. We had also told his mom we would come over for dinner. My Mom stopped in on our way out,sad we didn't get to see her longer. Brought Rory a pink bathingsuit ,super cute - ended up good to cause I tossed it in the back pack- and when we go to Ri's moms rory REFUSED to put on the blue lil nemo one we had there.
So,
We ate dinner- Ri mom made us stuffed portablas,and lasagna and had a carrots and salad ,too.

We went swimming-





Rory is such a great swimmer She had a blast,she was ready to get out pretty quick though.
I think I may have to get her a two peice though- she is just too long for the one peices in her size,and too skinny to go a size up.



She got out and Grammy gave her ice cream and brownies- soo spoiled.
She didn't want to leave all night.
Finally talked her into leaving if she could take a toy- she took the pink bear mel had got her for Xmas. She also got us a new hemp grocery bag, SWEET! Now we never need plastic :)
When we came home there was a bunny in our yard :(
So ,now I am betting there is another nest,and I don't want it mowed Damn,. i am really not sure what to do. I am afraid of the yard getting worse ,and what the neighbors will think if we have HUGE high grass in the front yard...but I don't want to destroy (another) bunny nest, or worse hurt a baby cottontail. Oh,and it ended up raining all day Wednesday so Ri wouldn't have been able to mow anyway.




Soooo
Yesterday was a ridiculously shitty day.
Literally as well. I had went to bed Tuesday with stomach cramps and pain-I couldn't sleep thinking to much I had really weird fever type dreams.
I spent the morning on the potty..
I'm pretty sure I had a fever. I stopped being able to hear in one ear :(
Ri had to go to the grocery store and he took Rory with him.

Then- the internet exploded. People I thought were my friends, stopped caring about my feelings.Questioning my motives for caring about theirs-- bullshit. I won't fight about loving someone. I've never been one for those type abusive codependent relationships
I was pissed. Still pissed. Feels like I may have lost some friends,but ya know- what kind of friend refuses to even TRY to see things from their friends perspective? I was so pissed, I ended up sick and dizzy - yet, angrily doing the dishes LOL.
At the same time my over dramatic response has got me more support, and heartfelt letters, and conversations than I expected- I realize I STILL DO have friends..(though, I do feel like just as much of an ass for the attention whoredom - that I was mad about in the beginning- ha, only I could manage to get mad at someone for doing something ,and turn it around and do it myself in trying to prove my point).
Anyway- now I am even more confused cause I am getting apologies in the aftermath side by side with condescending bulletins saying sorry about "that THING you are going through" - Forgive me for failing to worship the drama whoredom of it all.


there IS a scrubs moment for everything


Ri seemed pretty grumpy and in a bit of a foul mood as well. He made us dinner which I didn't eat much of,and we settled down and watched scrubs while Rory played online.
Another night in the tub wishing my stomach cramps would subside enough to sleep.
..now I am wondering yet again if it isn't all PMS- why is it I spend this time of month feverish,with diarrhea ,and breast pain??? It doesn't seem right. I really don't want(and probably can't afford) to go to the dr over it, though.I have no idea what it could be. :(

----
P.s
Yup. started my period..meaning all that sick was yet again "just"PMS (or something like it)
. I called ri and told him i need to go to the dr. Four months of being SICK, unfunctional before my period is NOT a good sign.
i kind of want to ask about getting a nonhormonal IUD anyway. ..and now my title and video fit more- scarily enough

Everyone is grumpy

Hi there,

Its 10 on Saturday electrical storming in the distance- and out of the blue I am fleeing really down.- Alone,bored,blue.

Sorry I haven't got back to this sooner.

Not to you-you don't read this regularly, no one does.
Just sorry I have a bunch of crap to fill you in on.
So lets REWIND


I am not sure when the last time I even posted was-
but here is a pic of the little cherry tomatoes that popped up on their own.
(thats the only way I'll garden)- I keep pondering starting to grow things-but then ,I remember my interest in such projects is short lived- and so would those projects be.



Been a little stir crazy.I keep meaning to go out with the dogandkid,but even the dog is too hot to want to go out with us,she only goes out to GO now,and RUNS back in .
The kid has watched WAY to many cartoons and played way to many video games- though there have been lots of moment of just quiet- self entertained play- I feel a bit guilty over it.
I go through moments of being the domestic goddess and DEEP cleaning EVERYTHING,
nad moments of being the fat lazy housewife and spending the day on my ass looking for crap to do online.
TUESDAY- On Ri's day off we needd groceries BAD- I made a huge list- Rory decided she NEEDED a pink stripy shirt and jewelry to wear.-





Ri had to pick up a car part for Scottie - he ended up going to both advance autos trying to find it- Rory and I waited in the car listening to Hannah montana- i tried to get her on video but I was annoying her.She was GRUMPY and rambuncsious - made shopping a serious chore-

- We had to go to three stores to get everything-
She was SOO hyper in publix she was running around the store being an airplane- She said she "didn't have arms they are wings,and not legs, they were...UM?" and I said ,
"landing gear"
"yeah!!"
- she "flew' past a little girl at check out and said
" hi , My name is Airplane,and these (moving her legs) are my landinggears"
HA!
we went
walmart for cheap bulk stuff,(were the toothless cashier said "yooos don't buy a lot of meat do ya?")
publix for organic and veg stuff,
and save-a-lot 'cause the produce stand was closed
We spent WAY too much money...
and forgot rice.

Ri went over to help scottie with his car most the rest of the night,
ended up calling Gill to help.
Gill & melissa are battling again(always) - ugh.-meh, I might tell you about that later,but really its a waste of brain cells-

So , Wednesday we packed up a picnic with loads of yummy stuff an went to the springs again:
It was crowded- summer has begun. :( an there was a HUGE group of REALLY loud people there.

When we first got there it was kind of warm though and the swim was nice

Check out the HUGE birds waiting to steal from unguarded picnic tables

Rory is swimming AMAZINGLY- she even went in once without her wings on.
Doggy paddling like its nothing- she even went under and held her breath a few times- crazy

Right after this she JUMPED off!

Lotsa wildlife- and again you could hear the Gators - but you couldn't see 'em


She mostly just ate mangos and chips.



It got overcast and COLD - poor Rorys lips turned PURPLE- so we left pretty early. My stomach hurt and I was sick of all the people anyway.
On the ride home-
We saw a big black cock.--really is that a draw to eat chicken? LMAO

We saw a big white one too- at that place that sells all the huge sculptures..I STILL need to pop in there and see if they have a buddha for my yard.
-
Thursday-
After Ri went to work I CLEANED.. I washed all the furniture and scrubbed the walls, vacuumed everything.
Its still gross.
I NEED a HUGEpretty ,brightly colored heavy duty rug in here to hide it- i want something,like big geometric shaped.
..and slip covers for all of my furniture- I want it something I can tiedye- That would be AWESOME.
Hey if you wanna get me something for my bday.
I NEED BUNCH of house stuff like that..
i'd love new countertops and my walls painted ,too,
and the yard mowed.
--Rory was in a TERRIBLE mood! and tanrumed over EVERYTHING.not getting her pink cup was enough to have her weeping !

Rory's new game is to tie herself up and call for help,I guess from peter pan- she also makes her toys walk the plank.It is a bit unsettling though.
I made 'sghetti and vegmeat balls for dinner.Simple and easy.

Ri came home all pouty- the usual complaint about the sucktasity of his job- and the deadend feeling of it all-
hard not to take offense when he complains about his "life"going no where".

It does suck to be here.
I wish we should be gone so bad. I don't know what we are going to do with Rory fast approching school age- I don't want to be here.Something has got to get moving along.We need to leave here.
He was mostly just sore that Scottie- who he's been driving to work forever now, JUST got his car running..and instead of getting rides to St.A instead of driving everyday(as ri had hoped) Scottie got a place in Stauggy and will never drive ri.
means no after work shift drinks,
and no sleeping on the way...just the same long drive everyday..
:(
Seemed like everyone i knew had a shitty day yesturday.
Been passing out dizzy in my sleep again..
waking up- or not quite waking up right and feeling all disorented..
the other day I thought I needed to get ready to go to work at WD...and was confused by ri leaving for work-
weird.



- Yesturday - Ri's mom called and asked if she could come over.
She brought Rory some toys .
Rory tried to make her stay "ALL DAY!!"





Rory showed off all her toys,and her vocabulary.
Rory seemed to be in a better mood the rest of the day. -I think she had finally got the sleep she needed that night.Rory took this pic


I talked libby some last night(and talked to mom for a minute today).
Mom got her "tattoo" for her radiation stuff to start.
- They spent a lot of that day at Aunt Marlas,Libby told me about hanging out with them- had a good time...and convinced them to take one of the kittens they have.
Libby is still saying I am taking a kitten,...
ri is still saying hells no.

Ri came home and helped me make Mex food-mmmm
Vegan even,and whole grain wraps.
Rory only ate taco shells dipped in refried beans,and a bit of cheese and tomatoes, though.
She DID taste everything for us.
She was disgusted by the lemony avacodo that came out of the guac.
they watched "bender" until they crashed-
I on the other hand had trouble sleeping all night.
At 5 am I went to "bed"..but laid there awake most the night.

TODAY-
Didn't do a DAMN thing.
We went outside at dusk for a tiny bit before the bugs came out.
Rory wore her CUTE new Roxygirl board shorts ri's mom found her,,I am SOO going to have to go out and her her a bikini top JUST to go with them.
Rory hardly ate all day- nothing but a few taco shells- until like 10 when she demanded fruit and cheese.
..ok.Well.. I was getting worried.

The good new - the past FEW hours or so that I have been blogging- Rory has been playing indepandantly and tv free...now to go untie all her toys,and do dishes.

-a blog from inside my cave

HEY!!! Check out my wicked kewl photoshop skills :


Its awesomely awesome even if Libby can't see it move with her dialup connection :)









So! Not been up to much of anything.It has rained a wee bit more- which is nice , its still 10thousand degrees outside.Leaving us mostly holed up in here.I have done a few little cut& past type projects with Rory - too keep from being complete couch potato zombies..but we have been watching way to much tv and she's been playing way to many video games the last few days...
I find myself kicking her offline or out from in front of the tv and telling her to go play ALL too often.
I have Been working out a little bit ,too... not enough probably to counteract sitting around.

A friend reminded my of "schoolhouse rock" the other day-So I ran off to show Rory,
She liked some of them-- but the 1st one I showed her was "how a bill becomes a law" and she said
"I don't like this video , Its pompous!!"
LMAO!!!


Rory hamming it up while playing online:


----------




It was partly cloudy today- didn't rain, so we did get to sneak out to go to the park, and walk noobie.
I don't really like to go for walks on Sunday-
I don't really want to have Noobie in the park when other people are there..
plus it was
INSANELY HUMID-
So we didn't stay out long



Came home- FINALLY talked Rory into a shower to cool off,
I realized today she hasn't had a REAL bath in at least a week(she had quick rinses,and washed up hands and dirt,and went swimming) ..after all that fighting ,she then fought me over getting out, HA!
- She was fussy and pouty when she finally did come out, but the cuddled up in the sweetest way possible , told me I was the best girl ever,and she loves me-
and fell right asleep.
Aww!
Yeah,our schedule is alll off again :(
Going to bed at 4 am.-le sigh.
Talked to mom and Lissy on the phone- I think they finally have the porch all clean, wonder if they ever set up the hammock??

Oh- the blue crab festival is/was this weekend.. always brings back sweet memories of when Ri& I started dating.
Christie wrote me and said it is awesomely awesome..

..but we won't be making it this year :(

We haven't even really had time to grocery shop.. been digging further into the cabinet and eating pizza (from the busy nights at Ri's work).


Ri had a rough night,he came home kinda freaked out- he had ran over a dog. :(
Poor guy..not even sure how to console him.
Well everyone just fell asleep and I should ,too.