yawn

So,the hormones I am swimming in- aren't yet PMS,I still haven't started(not due for awhile either ,so I guess its all good). I am concerned about that and the painful stomach cramps I have.Worried it could be something deeper.The other day I was immobile from the stomach pains :( .

Mom brought us more candy,as well as Rory a toothbrush and paste.We are now swimming in sweets.

I'm tired. I'm tired of repeating the same thing over ,and over.I'm tired of setting goals for myself,or rules,and never abiding to them,and hating my lack self control. It's been a rough couple days.Between battles with my body and battles with my toddler.Yesterday I went outside to jump rope while Rory played with noobie..but it was too cold/wet and my throat got tight-and I couldn't breathe,I think I have athsma,just another thing to hate myself for.

Rory repeats things over and over,increasing her tone and her whine with each repeat regardless of if she gets an answer.She has begun to be extra exploratory , things she never before cared about she asks 20 questions about. "whats that on the wall?Mommy,can I see it? mommy,can I peek at it? mommy,what does it do? mommy,can I hold it?Mommy,mommy............" and on and on all day-it is very tiring. I love her,and it is adorable,but tiring.

Oh,and trick or treat,Halloween has not ended in the eyes of my child.She still walks up to me and says trick or treat -and runs away crying when I say "no candy". ~sigh ~
Rory is sad we had to bury the pumpkins as well,she asked for some new ones...I am trying to tell her more holidays are coming,I am not sure thanksgiving is on par with halloween though.

Ri is off work,but he had a wisdom tooth pulled so he is kinda out of it.We took a short trip to the store,and THOUGHT Rory was on her way to a nap when we got home...wrong. :( .

I was going to upload vids-but they are too fucking big.I am soo pissed about that.