Monday, April 14, 2008

an update

I know,I know, I JUST blogged yesterday..
Some quick stuff though. I will work on keeping it shorter.

I was compleatly disgustingly tired yesterday.Ri's mom wanted to meet up with us-but after days of sleeplessness the house was TRASHED,and Rory wasn't even awake when she called ..and I was afraid when she did wake she would be grumpy.I had tried to keep her up,but only managed to make her angry.I know,Rory hasn't seen Sari,or her in AWHILE..but I didn't want ANYONE to see my trashed house ,or Rory to be grumpy.Rory misses grammy too- brown grammy she calls her.Hopefully we will get to see them soon.
--- Well, The good news last night Rory fell asleep at 11pm and stayed asleep ALL NIGHT!! Woke up today when Ri was leaving for work(at 2 pm) YAY!! So happy!I hope it stays that way! Cross your fingers for me. She woke up and described her dream of a "white cat,i just pet him,he so cute,but he didn't bite he was good".

I did manage to clean the kitchen and vacuum..It was BAD!I had been so exhausted the house work was slipping.I even had to vac out the couch cause there were sunflower seeds in it.? I feel much better with the house clean... I was so tired though, by 9pm I was falling asleep standing up. I made dinner and kept feeling my eyes close and head fall forward.

I called mom, she isn't doing so great. She says her hair is falling out so much now she doesn't know how she will hold a wig on.She said she is embarrassed and didn't even want to go to work. She knew it would happen ..but not this bad,and this suddenly ,I guess. :( Everyone keeps trying to tell her"it's just hair,and no one cares".. but I know she does,and I guess it is more frightening because it makes the whole situation seem more real.
Libby wrote me today and said as much as well..she asked if it would be selfish to want run away back to the mental institution, because she can't handle it-she saw plastic baggies with moms hair.
Yes,yes it would be selfish.It's ok to feel that way,you can't help your feelings... but mom is going through a lot more,you can't just run away from her now. I don't know, I am not home with mom ,and part of me feels guilty for not being there more often,but even when I am there I feel like mom is not really letting anyone in on it, you know.She doesn't complain about it's a weird subject, I guess. She does talk about how she feels,but she just won't really go in depth about it.I don't know that there is anything anyone could say or do for her,she is doing really well..but I do know she doesn't need more stress-and for that reason alone,gotta be strong about it.

Well, - it's a nice day, kind of breezy today.We went outside and picked mandarin oranges and blackberries.Rory is stuffing her face with them right now,and making a big mess in here :(
I am gonna add some pics I played with and be outta here.

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