Friday, August 8, 2008

Failure to adjust a square meal to a round stomach

Stress stress stress. poor communication and sour stomach- but, some good times.The past couple days I have not slept well... or done awake well,for that matter.
I am short tempered, fill of acid .touched out,and just really self loathing because of it.
Starting with Tuesday ,Ri woke up on his day off angry- cause he wanted to go somewhere- He wants to go swimming on his every day off- but it was already 3pm or later by the times he tells me this,in full snotty tone-and I am no were near ready to go anywhere.
Yes, it SUX that Rory and I slept in soo late..but I get annoyed that he would expect me to drop everything- or to have read his passing thoughts.
Our lack of communication lasted most the day.. each getting more and more angry that the other was being so angry,the circles you could go in that are endless.
I DID want to go somewhere-despite being to late to go to the beach- and take the dog. Poor dog needs out.

So we decided to go to nearer by Ravine Gardens

Rory decided we would go through the garden part 1st:

We ended up off the main trail and through the woody hiking trails. Getting one hell of a work out and trying to out race bugs- we still need to buy some bug spray.
We didn't stay long between the bugs and the heat and we took a short path - between both the bridges and out the same way we came in.
On the way home Ri promised to pick up Rory some fries- and got her some hardees fries.We ended up arguing a bit, again-He thought I was being bitchier than I'd meant- and didn't go see Sari as we had planned.
A shitty night- trying to get back along. My temper has been so short that I hate myself. I feel like a total bitch... and hate that it seems he thinks that ,too.Made me almost want to be even meaner to him- so he had a reason to hate me- like I hate me.
UGH, I dunno.We ended up talking about it and both felt terrible for being so short with each other- and assuming the other was being rude.
On top of of it all- despite the fact Rory has been super cute,funny and sweet she is soo clingy I am touched out. SHE HAS TO STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR!!!
Ri made really yummy indian food for dinner. Rory really grubbed on the rice.. she actually seems to really like curried veggies. ..the palak paneer-- creamy spinach and tofu dish(which I thought was yummy) didn't go over too great with Rory or Ri tho.

We planned to go to the beach the next day- and after a late start Wednesday morning - we headed that way.

Rory wanted to go to the "beach with NO cars" again

Sea turtle nests seem more abundant than last year- or is that just to me? either way, its kewl.

She was sooo big and halarious at the beach. Talking up a storm and swimming like a mermaid.
I know a lot of people say this age of three is HARD- so far I think its my fav age.The pint size preteen- only a pinch less hormones.

We decided to stop in and see Sari and Lily on the way home:

Rory could have sat and held her forever.She just loves her.Soo sweet she was really careful and gentle.

She was thrilled when Lily opened her eyes and grunted at her for a short second.
She really didn't want to leave.

Harvey is out of rehab-which we only recently found out he was in...
Apparently, it is all over between him and Hether. She took away every pic of him and her kids he had.
He seems more upset about THAT loss , than of hether.I do have a file full of pics of them together with Rory that I promised to burn for him. He came over for a second- with his friend,-perhaps new girlfriend,as well..I hope he stays clean and moves on to better things- but I am sad for him about the kids.,specially the youngest.Yeah,They weren't his blood-but you can't deny he has bonded with them in the past 2-3 yrs.

Ri made some killer pasta for dinner.That was super yummy. Lots of spinach and green olives since we had a fridge full. He also made Cheesy garlic bread- and had me try these parm crisps he has been bragging about...they are awesome and simply delicious.
For the 2nd night in a row I snuck out with my cell (talking to a friend) ,and a slight wine buzz- to walk to the convenience store to get a black-and-mild.

Yesterday, was when the funk seemed to come down on me.My belly has been a big ball of acid.Maybe from the wine... maybe from the coffee/caffeine ,or nicotine - either way. I am soo queasy in the morning and before bed from the firey gut.UGH.
I made pumpkin pancakes for me and Rory tho-Had some phone convos and made laundry detergent.
Rory was being soo silly and goofy - I kept wishing I had my camera- thinking I'd left it in the car.
Only to find it on th chair while I was cleaning up.
Rory was in the midst of her "FEED me ,I am too tired" nightly fussfest and accedentally slammed the fridge closed while my nose was still in it.It hurt so bad ( I have a big knot) that she freaked out about hurting me.Poor thing.Then she fell asleep.
Ri came home and made little pizzas and watched dvds..
he crashed on the couch - I stayed up way too late swimming in acid gut.Unsure if I was going to puke or breath fire and regretting the coffee.

When I finally did go to bed Rory woke me at the break of dawn... cuddling making me feel too hot- to clastrophobic- too nausous. I got out of the spinning bed and ended up stretched out on the living room floor unsure what was making me feel so disgusting. I ended up napping on every object in the livingroom having odd ,short uncomfortable dreams about people I don't know,and their problems..

Rory woke up saying she was hungry- We gave her the treats Ri had brought home for her the other night- chips and strawberries,like she has been asking for.
She ate a chip and went back to sleep... she woke up after ri left for work..and threw up :( .
She didn't run a fever - but I gave her some baby tylonal,she did puke again.She seemed MUCH better after that.I guess we just must have ate something bad. ugh.

Her mood improved a lot. she seems more than fine now.
She is already halfway through that pack of strawberries.

We took the dog for the quickest walk ever- around the front yard and along the empty lot near us.It thundered the wholle time

Came in before it stormed. ...and yet the sun just went down,and
no rain yet :( . Rory is napping now tho.I think I will join her for a bit and then make some more phonecalls.


Mahala said...

That little one is a peach :) Hope you feel better.

Thoughts and Things said...

You know, I always say, it's hard to be a stay-home mom, not having that break from home and that chance for regular encounter with other adults is hard. I've been home for 4 years now so I know!

You guys always make the yummiest food, if you ever make another blog to attach to yours you could make a recipe blog and I'd be there all the time!

Sorry you had some crankiness with your dh, I do with mine too, sooo normal as unfun as it is.

tata said...

The garden pics are just beautiful, BHF!

I know what you mean about the bitchies... I hate myself, too, these past couple of days. I don't feel like I'm coming out of it, either. More like coming into it.

Hope you get to feeling better.