Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses



Presents under the tree!! Before I start my letter, I want to share a bit about Rory's love for the tree.. she went to help Ri buy the tree. For some odd reason ,on the way she asked him "How much do we have for a tree"
and he gave her a small estimate..
when they got there and were looking around an eager salesman came up asking what sort of tree they were looking for.When they replied "cheap" he said well these are the cheaper ones ,(still 10 over what Ri wanted to spend) and Rory said "Awww, NUTS!" and managed to talk the man down to the price range LOL!- he trimmed off some excess and sold the tree to her.
So, for future reference Rory has awesome bartering skills.

--back to your regularly scheduled (all be it late) post

Dear Santa,

I know this letter is very late. and I doubt it will reach on time- I figured I do owe you since you actually came through (all be it late jerkface) on some of my demands..er,um. wishes from last year's letter .
(side note: I feel amazingly blessed to look back at that letter and see the difference a year has made. While some stuff has been hard- some of the goals,wishes and dreams we really aimed at were achieved this year, thanks to many players in this weird ass game of life.)

I know people usually start by telling you how good they have been..
but seeing as it is 3 days to the big day it is obvious I have some confessing to do.
I am really hopelessly behind, on the shopping , on the wrapping , on the planning.I still haven't got around to making a wreath of tree trimming like I planned.. hell, the tree hasn't even been up long!
Things are tight around here, money, time ,positivity.. I will admit my mind has veered off into some pretty negative places.
I have really been trying to be a least a decent person.
A for effort right?
I feel like I have put out a lot of effort to realize I am ok,to be thankful, to recognize my blessings..to just laugh.
AND while I am at it realize my faults, my mistakes and my negatives- the trick is to remember to realize them, but not beat myself over the head with them.
I have been trying harder to not judge other people - to not take it all to heart,while still loving..

All in all..
while I think I may have obsessed far more this year about every little thing,I have recognized the action for what it is,and tried to avoid focusing on THAT... still trying.

So, I don't know if I have been a perfect person to myself, but I have tried to be a decent human.

If that counts for anything, here is some of my very late wishlist:

I would like a new car.Why couldn't you have made me win that damn air freshener giveaway Conan had????huh? Santa? you messed up , that is why.

Regardless. I would still be riding my bike a lot - So how about an odd one,
Is it possible for winter to be warmer than fall was?
Because bundling up to go down town in Florida, in the fall is a joke.
Last year it actually snowed some- not on like Xmas or anything..but it did once. So you have shown you have a track record for granting my weather wishes... do it!!
..and maybe I'll stop pretending I want a pony, deal?


I had to layer up in my snow gear to watch the moon last night....


well.. it may not have been THAT cold.but it was cold. and wet.

& a vid from someone far more talented than me:

Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse from William Castleman on Vimeo.



had to, it isn't often the moon does tricks.
I felt very alone watching the world get dark..
granted I was alone(I couldn't get lazy cold Ri out of bed for more than a second.)
I thought about making a wish.. instead i felt cold, dark and alone- struggled to take pictures and went inside.-BUT,
it clearly marked for me the 1st day of winter..
and time to get ready for traditional holiday festivities.

I'm not though.
With Ri working Christmas Eve, and no car fit to take us out on our own- all I know for sure, is that my plans shall be last minute.I also have a pang of feeling like no matter what I do it will be wrong by someone, and inadvertently hurt someone no matter what I do
.. and that hurts.
Is it possible ,Santa , to wish to make everyone happy?
I guess it really isn't

-that said.
I do NOT wish for a plan. I know I have always been a pretty compulsive planner.. but I have also always been horrible with planning. If I have a plan , it just means things will not go as planned and I will fall apart.If I don't- things may still fall apart, but I can still coast on as I was already.
Lowered expectations make me feel like a happier person at the end of the day.
So, I shall wish for smoother sailing over the bumpy roads that are the days ahead.I will wish for it to all come together in the end,
and if it doesn't for fixable unravelings.
Do you think that will fit on your sleigh?

What I want more than anything- more than pleasing ANYONE else, even myself-
is the world for my creative , amazing almost 6yr old.
She built a forest in the backyard, of sticks and weeds-she was very proud..
and also wore that outfit that makes her look like a preteen and breaks my heart a little bit.
I may have to hide that sweater.
She can have it back when she is 13.


She has a lot of wishes this year..and an ever growing list.
We really didn't get her much. We did get her the one Littlest pet toy she really wants..
I can't even find some of the other toys she really wants- it is a lucky thing her birthday falls in Jan. I still will have a running list of things she didn't get from you.
You could always bring the rest you know Santa. Seriously,That is like,your job RIGHT?! I just hope she is happy and grateful, and more than likely she will be no matter what .


Ri is doing well, a month ago I would have begged you to heal him somehow..
or for more money for him- or to cheer him up as he was pretty stressed..

but things are starting to improve without your help,tyvm.
.. perhaps you should get Ri some better luck for Christmas.
Do they bottle that?
..he will hate me for this picture
He isn't wearing a hat. I love this pic though ..
Sorry Ri.

I hope people love the things we got them..
We mostly shopped for the little ones
Lissy may have already found Nico the most perfect gift
AND got it used off of craigslist:
How could I top a used car???

Well- so.
Mostly, I want health,wealth, and happiness.
There is little else I want for me..OR ,if you could bring me things that can help me get there on my own that would be even better.

I really don't think it is asking for much.

... or maybe it is, but that's your curse dude.

39 Degrees North: Christmas Card 2010 from 39 Degrees North on Vimeo.

Thanks Santa!
We'll be the one house in our lil suburb without a ridiculous amount of Holiday decorations out.


One more piece of holiday cheer before I run around the house wishing there was more time, and wondering were it went: (NSFW)-cover the elves' eyes Santa


I'll be back soon with my Vlog.. hopefully, maybe. I gotta a lot to do this week.


PEACE AND TOFU CHICKEN GREASE,
BABYHELLFIRE

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG Sweetie LMFAO where do you these vids. I hope Santa brings you your hearts desire this year. Merry Christmas to all of you! ♥ xoxo ♥

babyhellfire said...

The internets is a crazy place round the holidays lol.
Thanks! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas Starri!!

Tina Michelle said...

I cannot believe she talked the sales person down on the tree! She sure is a cutie and a smart one!