Monday, July 28, 2008

The story of G

Time for:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~The story of G.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, ..well, yeah.
I know ,I have been holding off on sharing this tidbit.
- the scandalous nature of it, is a bit mature for my typically pg13 blog. Also, I fear some of our other friends may have taken copyrights to the story as they are working on a fact based "tales of the trailerpark" comedy book ,movie and tv show deal based on it... Out of respect for the intimate nature of the subject matter-for the 1st time ever I am gonna leave out names,(Though, anyone who knows me IRL ,will most likely know EXACTLY to whom I am referring) .

I wouldn't bring it up ,it deals very little in what my blog is usually about --but last night we got in yet another head on collision with it all.

You see,I had my evening planned out- I FINALLY pried myself away from the internet. Set Rory up with "The Lion king" and a video game(which she tantrumed about because I couldn't get her to the third level)... started yoga(finally found one I like on youtube)- planning to make spaghetti when the dishwasher was done, also planning on vacuuming when I get done contorting my body awkwardly.
--Sooo.Here I am in downward dog- I hear a car.(hindsight:you can't HELP but hear G's car its LOUD -and he is proud of that fact),but Noobie doesn't react and I assume they didn't stop. Then I hear a knock ..and realize someone just saw me upside down as they walked up to our house.
-Ah, G and M in all their drunken "tilt in hand" glory,and their dirty shoeless baby in a sagging filthy diaper. "the other is sleeping in the car" they tell me...and walk in.

I take naked Rory to the bedroom to slip an outfit on her(she's a nudist).G tells me he was hoping to talk to Ri "alone"..I tell him Ri is at work, and considering he hasn't called me yet.. I'd guess he'll be another hour.

SOoo ..Here is the LOW down.The back story -The whole crazy story-Minus some details (which I have always avoided myself.)

crazy flashback low budget special effects
I have known G since I started dating Ri.He was the one we could always count on to give us a ride , a hand-anytime.It goes without saying we got into a lot of crazy teenage adventures.
Dad used to tease that he wasn't sure which one I was dating because they were always together to pick me up.G was a few yrs older than RI- it got a bit weird(and many of our mutual freinds did NOT approve) when G started dating my MUCH younger friend Jen-..but,surprisingly it seemed to work out really well.
G was ,well,always a bit well,slow. He is great with his hands,and sweet as can be,and he is smart about a lot of things..but he was home schooled by his ultra conservative parents(who actually believe scientist made up dinosaurs )..and socially a bit lacking. Jen 10 yrs his younger was honestly good for him.He was shattered when she dumped him(she actually dumped him saying " she needed a boyfriend in school with her" LOL). To this day I think he was best off with her- and wonder what if.. not even so much what if they stayed together more- what if he found another good influence on him.

So anyway, heart broken G rebounded-quickly.
Cut to the time when G's parents actually being the OVERLY kind people they are had taken in Ri, and a few of G's other down and out friends.G ends up meeting this girl -this 17 yr girl who said she had no place to go,her 30 yr old boyfriend was kicking her out.This girl- was the most classless person I have ever met-easily...thats putting it mildly,she was named after liquor,I could go on about her faults for days-but I won't. She moved in with G and his parents that night.
Years pass- and they stay together, she cheats on him here and there,everyone knows.He is so dependent on her(not sure why) he ignores it every time.He is influenced pretty negatively by her. As dirty as she was, she was clean(er) though. She didn't smoke and rarely drank and , looking back I realize can thank her for keeping G from it as much as she did.

They get married-thunder cracks on the clear day the second she says "I do",the unity candle light goes out.
- She disappears on night after work - he picks her up the next morning at guys house covered in hickeys has a kid 9 months later.It is obvious the blond haired blue eyed boy isn't his- years later he confessed to us that he knows,but doesn't care.Told ya , he is a GOOD guy.9 months later she gets preggy again(yes,ONLY 9 months)and they have another boy.
We visit- this was before I had Rory.
Visits are hard- She hits them, BABIES.Not like taps, like SPANkS her very young babies.She doesn't change diapers until they almost fall off.Every visit I found myself cleaning and caring for these kids.She cheats on G again.We hang out with them less and less.
They get in fights.HUGE fights..G starts getting ready to leave her.
He starts meeting girls. She catches him... they fight more.He files for divorce,new girl "M" moves in with him, and Xgirl takes the babies. Custody battle follow.He does manage to prove she was a bad parent.All those years we have all told him- but G always had this idea, all of that was the mothers job. He gets full custody of the boys- She brings them to him ,and one has an actual blister from sitting in his dirty diaper in a carseat, the ped said he must of sat in a soiled diaper for days :( .
M- seemed better than last girl was.She's got a hell of a history tho-just left her xhubby. Lost custody of both of her 1st children,Ex drug abuser.Turns out- she preggy(from her x most likely),has a boy- in the passenger seat of their pickup before they make it to the hospital.
She in the middle of trying to get custody of her daughter back-they get married,go to parenting classes..but,they don't get custody.
M... smokes.even when she is pregnant.She likes pills.She drinks-also when she is pregnant.She gets pregnant, again- barely 9 months after having boy..and has another boy.

4 boys.They are never in a properly installed car seat.They eat junk,They are hit and yelled at. Ignored.M drops them off most of the day in preschool and daycare.Or with the grandparents, or with a friend-Until preschool & daycare start threatening to call CPS over this and that-then she switches to a different one.M calls frequently to ask for things.Cigs,money a ride .M thinks we are well off..and always acts like we owe them. We start avoiding her calls.
She spends many days sitting in the car while G works with their youngest baby.EVERYONE I know has reported them , for the way their babies are/aren't cared for.EVERYONE. My mind is BOGGLED they have their children -still. (a mutual friend told us that he thinks G's parents actually claim custody of the children to the state- which sounds about right.)
Gets to the point we rarely communicate with them.We hear rumors they started doing crack and shaking up with random druggie girls.
She leaves him for a girl one day.
he cheats on her another.
back and forth.We hear the rumors...but we have avoided being around them.
Recently G called to tell Ri: "WARN him"even, that another mutual freind of ours had "raped" M - years ago...and M just told him.Its blindingly clear that he most likely didn't rape her...but he probably did sleep with her.We get ahold of mutual freind and ask him...he confirms.

Soooo back to last night.
I try to call Ri for G but he isn't off work yet and doesn't take his cell in anymore after his job killed his last 2 cells.
M asks to use my internet.She is trying to get a credit card for G- who just lost his job...
I have no idea what she was thinking.
G rolls his eyes at her
They pay no attention to the kid running around my house with a sagging baby diaper.I find him an old lil swimmer of Rory's(thats all i had)
i tell G I am just worried bout him driving around with the kids like that- he says he has to "'cause of her!".
G asks me to go outside for just a sec- Out of ear range of M he tells me "the rape story was all a lie! She is screwing around on me, I hate her, I want to leave her. I can't stand her" fine. good for him- i guess?He is drunk and all I can think is who the fuck is taking care of these kids?!G has the antiquated idea that women are the only ones that can care for the children...
So, he acts as if they aren't even his!or at least not his responsibility.He says he is PISSED the way she parents-but still doesn't parent them himself?
and,I dunno what goes on in M's head!
I get ahold of Ri. hand the phone to G.
.. walk around the house monitoring the children.

Ri tells G he will be awhile.. G & M decide to go home and get diapers and then come back.They can't get the baby to leave Rory. M asks if she can leave him for the 45 mins or so.- g says "no way" I wasn't going to say ok- but I didn't want the baby to get back in the car unrestrained most likely- with them not sober.So , I say leave him.-half wishing they had brought the other baby in, and I could save that baby the car ride.
Surprisingly ,Rory was the less behaved one- being bossy to the poor boy.
Dreams of speghetti dinner shattered I clean the kitchen while entertaining the children.
Ri gets home and changed and shortly after G & M return.Ri and G spend hours sitting out front talking.G told M he needed advice.
During that time M is downloading yahoo games to my desktop-and I am watching the child.

Eventually, they leave.
I doubt anything has come of it.I do not know what will happen next.
I know.... you were probably hoping this story had some sort of ending.No.
Just like the beginning I am left wondering why G can't do better for himself..why he does what he does to himself.Wondering why the state has not taken away their children.

Ri says G even said as much lastnight "Why do I end up with such trashy women??"
he says G wants a divorce but he is soo afraid he will lose his boys-and obviously doesn't know how to care for them alone.-sigh,I guess all thats left is to wait for him to rebound...and hope its a better bounce.

Please, think good thoughts for his boys, though.I am at least mildly comforted that they spend much of their time with their grandparents and daycare :( .

....please stay tuned for you regularly scheduled blog programming.


LabRat4430 said...

ah, "The White Trash Romance of the Trailer Park" it's my favorite soap opera
Makes me feel a little better about the trash I'm cleaning up ;)

tata said...


I just told Husband that I really don't care for hanging out with other parents with kids Buddha's age because I find things like that - they don't change diapers, they smack, they feed 'em junk and only junk... I'd just as soon not feel those judgmental feelings.

I will pray for those boys.